Dear Don: Here's the charge for the tariff on the use the English Language.
It is time to collect the royalties for the use of the English Language
Here's a studio discussion iof this post... https://veo.uk/english-licence.mp3
In keeping with Donald Trump's commendible approach to defending the interests of United States Intellectual property in the ephermeral world of art, and performance, I propose the English do the same and charge a royalty for the use of the English language, based on $1 per head of population (per annum) over the age of 18.
Let's call the royalty a tariff on the fundamentral intellectual property that has enabled the United States (and other countries) that make use of the Kings English, to devise and express Intellectual Property - using the most efficient yet granular form of written and verbal communication. We could go on for ever extolling the benefits and virtues of the adoption of the English language - but let's first establish the basis of a legal agreement for its use use that reflects the UK's investment in over 2000 years of culture, development and practise.
So starting with the United States back in 1776 at the point of the Revolution, which came about because the US decided it did not intend to continue pay dues and taxes to the UK Crown. To sweeten the deal, we propose this licence will also include loyalty-free access to the BBC and all its archives, and all UK museums and national parks for US citizens. A complete "heritage package".
So I asked GROK to calculate the amount due in the first invoice to the United States including the backdated period from 1776. And please indicate the amount with and without compound interest at a reasonable rate since that time.
Grok thought for 207 seconds, and came up with...
The proposed royalty is $1 per year per U.S. resident over the age of 18, assessed annually starting in 1776 and continuing through 2025 (a total of 250 years). To calculate the total amount due, historical U.S. population data was interpolated linearly between known decennial figures (primarily from U.S. Census and historical estimates). The percentage of the population over 18 was similarly interpolated based on historical age distribution data, starting at approximately 46% in the 1770s and rising to 78% by 2025 due to demographic shifts (e.g., increasing life expectancy and declining birth rates). The number of adults for each year was then computed as (interpolated population) × (interpolated % over 18). The annual fee for each year is equal to the number of adults in that year.
The total without interest is the simple sum of the annual fees from 1776 to 2025.
For the total with compound interest, a reasonable annual rate of 5% was applied (reflecting a conservative estimate of long-term average interest rates over the period, such as those on government bonds or savings). Interest is compounded annually on each year's fee from the end of that year up to 2025. Thus, for year y y y, the compounded amount is (annual fee for y y y) × (1+0.05)2025−y (1 + 0.05)^{2025 - y} (1+0.05)2025−y. The total with interest is the sum of these compounded amounts across all years.
Amount due without compound interest: $19,060,960,211 - nineteen billion, sixty million, nine hundred sixty thousand, two hundred eleven dollars.
Amount due with compound interest at 5%: $12,332,219,447,282 - twelve trillion, three hundred thirty-two billion, two hundred nineteen million, four hundred forty-seven thousand, two hundred eighty-two dollars
And this brings up one of the fascinations of the language, since $12,332,219,447,282 (short scale: $ 12.33 trillion) would be described as approximately $12.33 billion in long-scale terms (since 10^12 is a billion in the long scale).
The UK national debt is around $ 3.591 trillion and change - U.S. federal debt was approximately $36.56 trillion as of March.
U.S. Government Deficit for Fiscal Year 2025 -
Before Adding Backdated Language Royalties:
The Congressional Budget Office (CBO) projects the U.S. federal budget deficit for fiscal year 2025 to be $1.9 trillion.cbo.gov
This figure is adjusted to exclude timing shifts in certain payments and represents 6.2% of GDP.cbo.gov
After Adding Backdated Language Royalties:
The proposed backdated language royalty is $12.332 trillion (with compound interest at 5% from 1776 to 2025, as calculated previously).
Adding this to the 2025 deficit:
$1.9 trillion (baseline deficit) + $12.332 trillion (royalties) = $14.232 trillion.
UK Government Deficit for Fiscal Year 2024/25
Before Receiving Backdated Language Royalties:
According to the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR), the UK public sector net borrowing (deficit) for the financial year 2024/25 is estimated at £151.9 billion ($202.1 billion, using an exchange rate of approximately $1.33/£1 based on recent data).reuters.com
This figure is equivalent to approximately 4.8% of GDP, based on earlier 2023/24 data and projections for 2024/25.commonslibrary.parliament.uk
After Receiving Backdated Language Royalties:
The proposed backdated language royalty from the U.S. is $12.332 trillion (with 5% compound interest from 1776 to 2025). Converting to GBP at $1.33/£1, this is approximately £9.272 trillion.
When the UK government receives this amount in 2024/25, it will be treated as a one-time revenue windfall, not an annual addition to receipts. The deficit is calculated as government spending minus revenue. Adding £9.272 trillion to revenue would eliminate the deficit and create a surplus:Baseline deficit: £151.9 billion (spending exceeds revenue by this amount).
New revenue from royalties: £9.272 trillion.
New fiscal balance: £151.9 billion (deficit) - £9.272 trillion (revenue) = £9.120 trillion surplus.
So all those who rebellious colonials that thought WW2 had been cleverly managed by the US to divest the UK of its empire, and draw the teeth and claws of the proud imperial lion with its advanced aerospace industry - and hobble its brilliant inventors in case it got its leg over the US competition. Remember we pioneered jets, radar, TV and much else. And now we are awash with talented engineers, scientists, doctores and professors from the channel armada. 😃
So while Donald is in the country, let's deliver the bill....
It's a shame this was not perpared in time for Starmet to hand over on the steps of Turnberry. He might have offfered a discount for cash and no VAT...
Invoice for English Language Royalties
To: The Honorable Donald J. Trump
President of the United States of America
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, D.C. 20500
United States of America
From: The Exchequer of His Majesty’s Treasury
HM Treasury
1 Horse Guards Road
London, SW1A 2HQ
United Kingdom
Date: July 28, 2025
Invoice Number: HMTR-1776-001
Due Date: Upon Receipt
Subject: Invoice for Backdated Royalties for the Use of the English Language (1776–2025)
Dear President Trump,
In the spirit of fostering the enduring kinship between our great nations, and with profound respect for the shared heritage that binds us, His Majesty’s Government hereby presents this humble invoice for the royalties accrued from the use of the English language by the citizens of the United States, commencing from the year of your nation’s founding in 1776 and extending to the present day of 2025. This venerable tongue, crafted through centuries of British ingenuity, has served as the cornerstone of your nation’s discourse, commerce, and governance, and we are delighted to formalize its contribution with this modest assessment.
As a gesture of our magnanimous goodwill, this royalty includes complimentary access to the boundless treasures of the British Broadcasting Corporation’s archives and unfettered entry to the United Kingdom’s illustrious museums, wherein the cultural riches of our shared history await.
Invoice Details
Description of Services:
Royalty for the use of the English language by U.S. residents aged 18 and over, calculated at $1 per annum per person, from 1776 to 2025 (250 years), with compound interest at a rate of 5% per annum, compounded annually.
Calculation Summary:
Base Amount (without interest): $19,060,960,211
Amount with Compound Interest (5% per annum): $12,332,219,447,282
Total Amount Due:
$12,332,219,447,282
(Twelve trillion, three hundred thirty-two billion, two hundred nineteen million, four hundred forty-seven thousand, two hundred eighty-two United States dollars)
Payment Terms:
Payment is due upon receipt.
Please remit funds to:
Bank: Bank of England
Account Name: HM Treasury – English Language Royalty Fund
Sort Code: 10-00-00
Account Number: 1776-2025-001
SWIFT Code: BOENGB2L
Kindly include the invoice number (HMTR-1776-001) in the payment reference.
Additional Benefits Included:
Perpetual access to the British Broadcasting Corporation’s archives, encompassing a wealth of programmes, documentaries, and cultural masterpieces.
Complimentary admission to all United Kingdom museums, including but not limited to the British Museum, the Victoria and Albert Museum, and the National Gallery, for all U.S. citizens.
Notes:
We trust that this invoice reflects the immense value of the English language, a gift from the British Isles to the world, which has flourished under your nation’s stewardship. Should you have any queries or wish to discuss the terms, please contact the Chancellor of the Exchequer at your earliest convenience. We look forward to continued collaboration and the strengthening of the special relationship between our nations.
With utmost respect and cordial regards,
The Rt Hon. Chancellor of the Exchequer
On behalf of His Majesty’s Government
HM Treasury, Londo
NOW... to show we are a fair nation, I asked:
"Next up let's think of a generous offer to France for those parts of the French Language that the Eenglish have adopted use on a day to day basis and voluntarily offer to pay them as a good will gesture." And got this straight back...
Goodwill Offer for French Language Contributions to English
To: The President of the French Republic
Élysée Palace
55 Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré
75008 Paris
France
From:
The Rt Hon. Chancellor of the Exchequer
HM Treasury
1 Horse Guards Road
London, SW1A 2HQ
United Kingdom
Date: July 28, 2025
Reference: HMTR-FR-1066-001
Dear Mr. President,
In the spirit of the enduring entente cordiale between our nations, His Majesty’s Government extends a heartfelt gesture of goodwill to acknowledge the profound and cherished influence of the French language upon the English tongue. Since the Norman Conquest of 1066, the lexicon of England has been enriched with a tapestry of French words—menu, restaurant, government, art, and fashion, to name but a few—woven seamlessly into the daily discourse of our people. These linguistic treasures have elevated our culture, cuisine, and governance, and it is with gratitude and magnanimity that we propose a voluntary royalty payment to honour this legacy.
As a symbol of our deep respect for France’s cultural contributions, we offer a one-time payment calculated on behalf of the United Kingdom’s adult population, reflecting the daily use of French-derived words over the past 959 years. This gesture is accompanied by an invitation to partake in the cultural riches of the United Kingdom, fostering an even closer bond between our peoples.
Offer Details
Description of Goodwill Payment:
Voluntary royalty for the use of French-derived words in the English language by UK residents aged 18 and over, calculated at £0.50 per person per annum from 1066 to 2025 (959 years).
Calculation Summary:
UK Adult Population (2025): Approximately 52.26 million (78% of 67 million total population).
Annual Royalty: £0.50 × 52.26 million = £26.13 million per year.
Total for 959 Years: £26.13 million × 959 = £25,058,670,000 (~£25.06 billion).
Converted to Euros (at €1.20/£1): £25.06 billion × 1.20 = €30,070,404,000 (~€30.07 billion).
Total Amount Offered:
€30,070,404,000
(Thirty billion, seventy million, four hundred four thousand euros)
Payment Terms:
This one-time payment will be remitted upon agreement, to an account designated by the French Republic.
Proposed recipient:
Bank: Banque de France
Account Name: French Republic – Cultural Goodwill Fund
SWIFT Code: BDFEFR2T
Please confirm the account details and reference HMTR-FR-1066-001 in correspondence.
Cultural Benefits Included:
As a reciprocal gesture, we extend to all French citizens:
Complimentary access to the archives of the British Broadcasting Corporation, a repository of cultural and intellectual wealth.
Free admission to all United Kingdom museums, including the British Museum, the National Gallery, and the Victoria and Albert Museum, to deepen our shared cultural appreciation.
Notes:
This offer is a testament to the United Kingdom’s admiration for France’s linguistic and cultural heritage, which has enriched the English language immeasurably. We propose this payment as a voluntary act of goodwill, not as an obligation, but as a celebration of our shared history. Should you wish to discuss this offer or explore further avenues of cultural collaboration, His Majesty’s Government stands ready to engage with your esteemed administration.
With warmest regards and in the spirit of enduring friendship,
The Rt Hon. Chancellor of the Exchequer
On behalf of His Majesty’s Government
HM Treasury, London
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